#and goddamnit I Am That Fool who would live in Ayer or whatever and heat my food in a microwave in the living room for a month

[marzipanandminutiae]

[applies for an even somewhat decently-paid job for which I am amply qualified, though the institution has rejected me for multiple other jobs in the past]

well time to look at Victorian houses within commuter rail distance on Zillow since I will clearly be able to pay a mortgage and restore that Completely Gutted No Appliances kitchen very soon!!!!